The life I will gladly give up again.

I was taken to church as a child. I always passed churches and secretly wished that I was there instead of in my car. But like alot of people I let my life get in the way. The thoughts of what I would be giving up. The parties, the bars, the things that I knew were wrong, yet somehow I found it to be okay just for that night. Some nights when I was there I will admit, I would have what I then called fun. Haha! But then there were the other nights that I felt empty. Like something was pulling me, telling me that I no more wanted to be there, than I needed to be there. At first when I was 18 I thought that I owned the night. Clubs, drinking, however I can say never drugs. I would do things that I knew were dangerous for me. Drinking and driving mainly. I was always the dd and yet I was always drunk. I knew when I went that I would be the one driving home and yet I never let it cross my mind that I was not only endangering my life, but those that were in the car with me, and the lives of the people in each and every car I passed by. When you are young these things never cross your mind. Ignorance is a horrible thing. Finally at 22 I met my husband. While we still did the bar scene, I never really liked it. I Quit even drinking when I was 26and that was when I would sat back and watch as everyone else drank themselves to a drunken stooper. The more I watched the more I wanted to go home.We finally quit going all together, but I still didnt head right into church. I would tell myself that there was plenty of time. Then one night I had a dream. I was at a camp ground and there were all kinds of different churches there for church summer camp. They were all in different colored shirts according to the church they were with. I recall I was standing outside and people were walking by me slowly moving in one direction never looking my way. I followed them to see where they were going and all a sudden I seen the sky was bright and open and the people in shirts started floating up towad the openng in the sky. I started yelling for them to look at me , but no one could here me. I woke myself up crying that night. The next day I called my sister and asked her if her pastor would baptise me and my husband. we were baptised that day and can I just say, all those things that I thought I was giving up are nothing. They were weight on my shoulders. There is no greater feeling than getting up in the morning and knowing why you are here. Knowing that no matter what the Lord understands me and knows me better than anyone. He knows my flaws, my good, my heart, my soul. There is nothing in this world that can give you any better peace than feeling the presence of Jesus. I waisted 28 years of my life lost, scared, alone, and depressed. Now you ask Why in the world is she telling us all this? Its because I know there are a million people out there that are where I have been. If you feel that tug in your life, dont ignore it. The Lord will always guide you in the right direction. I know that God was working with me all that time. I was young when I went to church. I didnt know the Bible. I had never read the first sentence of revelations.I know that me dreaming that was Gods way of showing me what I was heading for if I didnt start allowing him to work in my life. These last three months I have been progressing daily. I am learning something new everday. I wouldn't go back to my old ways for anything. All the time I wondered what I would be giveing up. I realize now,I  didnt give anything up, I gained a wonderful church, A clearer mind, A better heart, A better outlook on life and others, But most impotantly, I gained Jesus Christ. I am everyday getting closer and closer to the day I walk through heavens gate for my eternity in heaven.